It was my first experience to live alone in home about three days when my family was out of city to attend marriage ceremony of my first cousins belongs to Rawalpindi and a small town between Chiniot and Sheikhupora commonly known as Pindi Bhattian. After a great enforcement, I could not decide whether it will be good for me to attend a ceremony or not ? But after a long brain storming unfortunately I decide not to go anywhere (as usual because I don’t think so, I have ever attend the wedding ceremony of any one of my maternal cousins in my life) in these days as it is a good opportunity for me to stay at home and take a good time for books reading and also watching movie as I am watching Indian evergreen movie Pakeezah while writing this blog, the purpose of this written material was not but to explain the feelings with others either; am I not doing good with myself by placing myself an arm’s length to others??? or I have a inferiority complex or lack of confidence???
Many times I have decide to attend any event organized by family or by friends, but on the spot each and every decision becomes like a moon of Eid eve, which appear only for singular eyes. If it is my mistake then I can realize it but what can I do after knowing every thing which is good for me as being social? I am very worried about my present condition, how can I survive in society as a best fellow, as a colleague and as an human being. I am feeling lonely ….